Best Man Speech: How to Write One, With Examples

A best man speech is a short speech the best man gives at the wedding reception to honor the groom and the couple. It ends with a toast. A good best man speech runs three to five minutes, which is about 400 to 650 words. It has six parts: who you are, a thank-you, a story about the groom, a few words about the partner, a wish for the couple and the toast.

Key takeaways

• Keep the speech to three to five minutes, or about 400 to 650 words.
• Tell one story about the groom, not five. Give it about a third of your words.
• Speak to the groom's partner and to the couple, not only to the groom.
• Bring your notes on a card, and fasten your jacket when you stand up.

What is a best man speech?

A best man speech is a toast to the couple, given by the groom's best man during the wedding reception. It tells guests who the groom is through a story, welcomes the groom's partner and ends with everyone raising a glass.

At an American reception, the best man traditionally speaks first. Emily Post's wedding guidance says the best man leads off the toasting at the reception, and the parents often speak before the groom. Many couples now set their own order, so ask them where you fall.

A groomsman speech follows the same rules. It is usually shorter, because the best man carries the main story. The groomsman example below runs about one minute.

How long should a best man speech be?

A best man speech should be three to five minutes long. That is about 400 to 650 words at a relaxed pace of about 130 words per minute. That pace sits near the middle of the 100 to 150 range that speech coaches give for presentations. Wedding sites such as Zola put the range at two to five minutes, and most wedding guides agree on three to five.

Nerves can make you speak faster than you planned. Laughter and pauses slow you down again. Read the speech aloud with a timer before the wedding, standing up, at the pace you would use in a large room.

• 2 minutes: about 260 words. This fits a groomsman speech, or a reception with many speakers.
• 3 minutes: about 400 words. This fits most receptions.
• 5 minutes: about 650 words. This is the upper limit for a best man.
• 7 minutes: about 900 words. This is too long for most receptions.

If the speech runs over five minutes, cut a second story. Keep the thank-yous and the toast.

What to include in a best man speech

A best man speech includes six parts, in this order:

1. Who you are. Give your name and how you know the groom. Half the room may not know you.
2. Thank-yous. Thank the hosts, usually the couple's families, and the guests who traveled. If someone spoke before you, thank them too.
3. One story about the groom. Pick a story that shows his character and that every guest can follow without a backstory.
4. The partner. Say when you knew the relationship was serious, and what you have seen the partner bring out in the groom.
5. The couple. Say what they are like together, and wish them something specific for the future.
6. The toast. Ask guests to stand, raise your glass and name both people.

The story about the groom is the longest part. The partner and the couple together get about as many words as the story. Do not skip the partner. The speech is for the couple, not only the groom.

Best man speech template

The best man speech template below comes to about 430 words, or just over three minutes. Each part has a word target. Write the part, count it and trim it before you move on. When the story passes 150 words, it is too long.

1. Introduction, about 30 words. "Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [your name]. I've been [Groom]'s [brother / friend since sixth grade / college roommate] for [number] years, and tonight I have the honor of being his best man."
2. Thank-yous, about 40 words. "Before anything else, thank you to [hosts] for this evening, and to all of you for being here. Some of you came from as far as [place], and it means a lot to them."
3. The story about the groom, about 150 words. "[One sentence that sets the scene: where you were and when.] [What happened, in four or five short sentences.] [What it showed about the groom, in one sentence.] That is the [Groom] I know: [one quality, such as loyal, calm or stubborn in the best way]."
4. The partner, about 80 words. "Then [Partner] came along. I knew it was serious when [a specific moment]. [Partner], you [what you have seen them bring out in the groom]. Welcome to our family" (for a brother) or "We're lucky to have you" (for a friend).
5. The couple, about 100 words. "Together, you two [what you've seen as a couple, in one concrete example]. [What friends and family admire about them.] I hope [a specific wish for their future]."
6. The toast, about 30 words. "Please stand and raise your glasses. To [Partner] and [Groom]. [A one-line wish.] Cheers."

The word target keeps the story from taking over the speech. It also tells you when a part is finished.

How to write a best man speech in six steps

You can write a best man speech in six steps over about two weeks:

1. Ask the couple two questions. Ask how long they want the speech to be and whether any topic is off limits. Some couples ask for two minutes because the reception has several speakers.
2. List ten memories, then pick one. Write down every story you could tell. Choose the one that shows who the groom is and that a stranger at the back table would understand.
3. Write to the word targets. Draft each part to the template counts. Write the way you talk, in short sentences.
4. Cut what the room will not follow. Remove inside jokes, nicknames, names guests do not know and any line that needs "you had to be there."
5. Read it aloud and time it. Stand up, hold your notes and read at a slow pace. Emily Post advises preparing notes several days ahead and practicing out loud.
6. Copy the key lines onto a card. Write the opening line, the first words of the story and the toast in large print. Read the rest from memory.

For a brother, the same steps apply. Older and younger brothers both have a story nobody else can tell. Use it, and keep it kind.

How to start a best man speech

Start a best man speech by saying who you are and how you know the groom, in your first or second sentence. Then move straight to the thank-yous. These openings work:

1. Who you are, plus one fact. "Good evening. I'm Sam, Ryan's younger brother, and I've known him for my whole life. He has known me for most of his."
2. A short line about the speech. "I was told to keep this under five minutes. So the first draft, and the slideshow, are staying in my pocket."
3. A one-line memory. "The first time I met Daniel, he was trying to send back a sandwich. I knew we'd be friends."
4. Straight to the couple. "Good evening. I'm Alex, and I have been looking forward to this toast since the day Tom told me about Jordan."

Do not open with an apology for being nervous, a dictionary definition of marriage or a joke that needs a setup longer than one sentence.

How to end a best man speech

End a best man speech by turning to the couple, asking guests to stand and raising your glass to both people by name. Keep the final line short, so guests know exactly when to drink. These closing toasts work:

1. "To Megan and Ryan. May your house always be this full of people who love you. Cheers."
2. "Please raise your glasses to the two people who made us all fly across the country, and were worth it. To Priya and Daniel."
3. "To Jess and Danny. May every argument end the way the first one did, with Danny admitting he was wrong."
4. "To Jordan and Tom: a long life, a full table and many more nights like this one."

Look at the couple when you say the toast, then raise your glass to the room. Sit down once guests have had their sip.

Best man speech examples

The five best man speech examples below cover the most common situations: a brother, a best friend, a short speech, a funny speech and a groomsman speech. Change the names and the stories. Keep the structure.

Best man speech for a brother

A best man speech for a brother can use a childhood story that no other guest knows. This example runs about 400 words, or about three minutes. Part by part, it runs: introduction 30 words, thank-yous 42, story 141, partner 73, couple 93 and toast 25.

Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm Sam, Ryan's younger brother. I've been following Ryan around for twenty-eight years, so standing next to him today felt natural.

First, thank you to Mom and Dad, and to Megan's parents, Linda and Joe, for this beautiful evening. And thank you to all of you for coming. Some of you flew in from three time zones away, and Ryan and Megan noticed.

When I was nine and Ryan was twelve, I broke our neighbor's window with a baseball. Ryan saw it happen. Before I could run, he walked next door, knocked and said he had done it. He spent the next three Saturdays mowing that man's lawn to pay for the glass. He never told our parents the truth. Until right now, I guess. Sorry, Mom. Years later, I asked him why he did it. He said I was too small to push the mower, and he was right. That neighbor, Mr. Alvarez, is here tonight. He still waves at Ryan every time he drives by. He has never once waved at me.

That is the Ryan I know. He takes the hit so the people he loves don't have to. He has done some version of that for me my whole life.

Then Megan came along. I knew it was serious the first Thanksgiving she spent with us. Ryan cleared his own plate without being asked. Our mother almost called a doctor.

Megan, you make my brother laugh more than anyone I know. You also tell him when he's wrong, which the rest of us have been too polite to do. Welcome to our family. You have been part of it for a while already.

Together, you two are the couple everyone calls when something goes wrong. When I moved apartments last spring, you showed up at seven in the morning with coffee, a truck and a plan. Last winter, when Dad was in the hospital, you drove four hours each way, every weekend, for two months. You never made it a big deal. You just showed up, together.

I hope you keep doing that for the next sixty years. I hope your house is always loud and always full, and I hope I'm always welcome in it.

Please stand and raise a glass. To Megan and Ryan. May you always have each other's backs, the way Ryan has always had mine. Cheers.

Best man speech for a best friend

A best man speech for a best friend can show the groom through the years you have shared. This example runs about 400 words, or about three minutes. Part by part, it runs: introduction 34 words, thank-yous 30, story 123, partner 80, couple 112 and toast 22.

Good evening. My name is Marcus, and I've been Daniel's best friend since we were assigned to the same freshman dorm room. That was fifteen years ago. He still owes me half a microwave.

Thank you to Priya's parents and to Daniel's mom for hosting us tonight, and to everyone who traveled to be here. I know some of you drove through the night.

The story that says the most about Daniel happened during our second year of college. I failed my first chemistry exam. I was ready to change my major. Daniel didn't say much. He just showed up at the library every night for three weeks with two coffees and my textbook. He wasn't even taking chemistry. He learned it anyway, so he could quiz me. The night before the final, he quizzed me at a diner until two in the morning. By midnight, the waitress was answering the questions too. She got most of them right. I passed the final with a B. He still says it was his B.

Daniel shows up. He doesn't make a speech about it. He just shows up.

Then Priya came along. I knew it was serious when Daniel asked me to help him pick out a sweater for meeting her parents. In fifteen years, Daniel had never cared about a sweater.

Priya, you brought out a version of Daniel who plans ahead, books tables and answers his phone. You also brought out a version of him who talks about the future, which none of us had heard before. Thank you. We're all very lucky to have you.

Together, you two are the most generous couple I know. Your door is always open. Your fridge is always full. Most weekends, someone is asleep on your couch, and it's usually me. When my car broke down last year, you lent me yours for a month and called it nothing. When Priya's cousin needed a place to stay for the summer, she stayed with you. When Daniel's mom had surgery, you cooked for her for two weeks. Nobody had to ask either of you.

I hope your home stays that way: full, warm and loud. I hope you get the garden, the dog and the long road trip you keep talking about.

Please raise your glasses. To Priya and Daniel. The best friends I could ask for, and now each other's for good. Cheers.

Short best man speech

A short best man speech keeps all six parts and gives each one or two sentences. This example runs about 170 words, or under a minute and a half.

Good evening. I'm Alex, Tom's best friend since high school.

Thank you to both families for this evening, and to all of you for coming. A special thank-you to Jordan's grandmother, who flew in from Florida and has already out-danced most of us.

I'll keep this short, because Tom asked me to, and because the bar is open. In twenty years, I've seen Tom win, lose and try again. He lost the class election by four votes and ran again the next year. He won. Through all of it, he has been the calmest person in any room.

Then he met Jordan. The calmest person in any room started checking his phone every five minutes, smiling at it.

Jordan, you made my friend a little less calm and a lot more happy. Thank you for that.

Together, you two make everyone around you feel at home. Tonight is proof of that. Look at this room.

Please stand and raise a glass. To Jordan and Tom. Cheers.

Funny best man speech

A funny best man speech still needs one sincere moment, usually when you speak to the partner. This example runs about 385 words, or about three minutes.

Good evening, everyone. I'm Chris, Danny's best friend and, for the next few minutes, his biggest problem.

Thank you to Jess's parents and to Danny's parents for tonight. Thank you to all of you for coming. And thank you to the DJ, who agreed not to play Danny's karaoke song. You're welcome, everyone.

I've known Danny since we were seven. In that time, he has had three great passions: fantasy football, grilling and telling people about his fantasy football team while grilling.

The story I have to tell is from our camping trip five years ago. Danny promised he could start a fire without matches. He had watched a video. Two hours later, it was dark and cold, and Danny was still rubbing two sticks together. A park ranger finally walked over and handed him a lighter. Danny thanked him and said, "I was almost there."

That is Danny. He never quits. Sometimes he should. But he never does. He did not quit when he failed his driving test twice. He did not quit when he tried to learn the guitar from the same video channel. And he did not quit on Jess, who said no to his first two invitations to dinner.

Then Jess came along. I knew it was serious when Danny cleaned his car. Not the outside. The inside. We found things in that car that science still can't explain.

Jess, you are smart, kind and patient, and I mean very patient. You have taught Danny to cook something besides burgers, to fold a shirt and to say "I don't know" when he doesn't know. Some of us have been working on that last one for years.

On a serious note, Jess, I've never seen Danny as happy as he is with you. He calls me after every date night to tell me about it. That's not a joke. He really does.

Together, you two make a great team. Jess plans the trip, and Danny carries the bags. Jess picks the restaurant, and Danny pretends he was going to pick it too. And when it counts, you show up for each other every time.

So please stand and raise a glass. To Jess and Danny. May your fires always light on the first try, and if they don't, may Jess bring the lighter. Cheers.

Groomsman speech

A groomsman speech is shorter than the best man's and tells one quick story. This example runs about 110 words, or about one minute.

Hi, everyone. I'm Leo, one of Sam's groomsmen. Sam and I played on the same soccer team for ten years.

I'll be quick, because the best man has the good stories. I only have one. Every game, Sam was the last one off the field, because he was helping someone find a lost shin guard. It was never his shin guard. That is still Sam: the guy who stays to help.

Leah, I've watched him stay for you too: every move, every late night, every early flight. You make him happy, and that makes all of us happy.

Please raise your glasses. To Leah and Sam. Cheers.

How to give a best man speech in a suit

To give a best man speech in a suit, fasten the jacket, hold the microphone and a note card, and pick up your glass only for the toast. Guests take photos the whole time, so how you wear the suit shows in every one. Eight rules cover the delivery:

1. Fasten your jacket when you stand. Fasten the only button of a one-button jacket or tuxedo. Fasten the top button of a two-button jacket and the middle button of a three-button jacket, and leave the bottom button open on both. Keep a double-breasted jacket fastened. Unfasten a single-breasted jacket when you sit back down. The suit buttons guide covers every style.
2. Keep your notes on an index card. A 3-by-5-inch card (7.6 by 12.7 cm) fits the inside chest pocket of a suit jacket without showing through the front. Emily Post's guidance says it is fine to use your notes during a toast.
3. Leave your phone out of the speech. A phone screen can lock, dim or light up with a message halfway through a sentence. A card does none of that.
4. Keep your pants pockets flat. Take your phone and keys out of your pants pockets before you stand. A full pocket pulls the front of the pants out of shape in photos.
5. Hold the microphone in one hand and the card in the other. Leave your glass on the table. When you reach the toast, slip the card into your inside chest pocket and pick up the glass.
6. Keep the microphone just below your chin. Hold it there when you turn to the couple, so the room still hears you.
7. Raise the glass to about shoulder height. Lifting your arm higher pulls the jacket up at the waist and shows the shirt underneath.
8. Check your tie and pocket square before you stand. Guests photograph the toast. A pocket square folded flat stays neat through a speech. The pocket square folding guide shows how.

Speak more slowly than feels natural. Pause after a laugh until the room is quiet again.

Mistakes to avoid

A best man speech should avoid seven common mistakes:

1. Going over five minutes. Guests stop listening, and the next speaker loses the room.
2. Inside jokes. Guests who were not there will not follow them.
3. Exes and money. Leave out past relationships, debts, salaries and the cost of the wedding, even as a joke.
4. The bachelor party. What happened there stays out of the speech, even the harmless parts.
5. Forgetting the partner. Speak to the groom's partner directly, by name.
6. Drinking to calm your nerves. Have one drink at most before you speak.
7. Humiliating the groom. Tease him once, kindly. Skip any story that would embarrass him in front of his new family.

If you are unsure about a line, read it to someone who will be at the wedding. If they wince, cut it.

What else does the best man do at the wedding?

The best man also stands with the groom at the ceremony, keeps the rings until the exchange and dresses to match the groomsmen.

What does the best man wear?

The best man usually wears the same suit or tuxedo as the groomsmen. Some couples set him apart with a different tie, vest or pocket square. The guide to groomsmen suit ideas covers colors and combinations, and the wedding suits collection shows the range. At a black tie wedding, the best man wears a tuxedo. The guide on how to wear a tuxedo covers the details.

When should the best man order his suit?

A best man who orders a custom suit should order it at least one month before the wedding. SARTORO's standard delivery takes three weeks, so the extra week leaves time to try the suit on before the day. A full wedding party should start earlier, and the guide to when groomsmen should get their suits sets out that timeline. The groom's wedding suit checklist covers the rest of the planning.

Frequently asked questions

Does the best man have to give a speech?

No, the best man does not have to give a speech, but most couples expect one. If you would rather not speak, tell the couple early so they can plan the order of toasts.

When does the best man give his speech?

The best man gives his speech at the reception, usually once guests are seated for the meal. The couple and the venue set the exact time, so ask them for it a week before.

Does the best man or the maid of honor speak first?

The best man traditionally speaks first, and the maid of honor follows. Many couples change the order, so follow the schedule they give you.

Is 2 minutes too short for a best man speech?

No, two minutes is not too short if the speech has a story, a word for the partner and a toast. Two minutes is about 260 words.

Is a 7 minute wedding speech too long?

Yes, seven minutes is too long for most receptions. Cut the speech to five minutes or less by removing the second story.

Does a best man speech have to be funny?

No, a best man speech does not have to be funny. It has to be sincere. One light moment helps, but the story and the toast carry the speech.

Who does the best man thank in his speech?

The best man thanks the hosts, usually the couple's families, the guests who traveled and anyone who spoke before him. Keep the thank-yous to about 40 words.

Does the best man give a speech at the rehearsal dinner?

No, the best man does not usually give the main speech at the rehearsal dinner. The host gives the first toast there, and Emily Post's guidance names the groom's father as the traditional host. The best man may give a short toast after that. Save your main story for the reception.

Can ChatGPT write a best man speech?

Yes, ChatGPT can draft a best man speech outline, but it cannot supply your stories. Use it for structure, then write the story about the groom yourself.